Yes, here we are in a brand new year and 16 years on from all the hype of the Millennium - remember that?!
Danny and I had a quiet Christmas and despite making a traditional roast turkey dinner with all the usual trimmings, we didn't feel very festive. The funny thing was that, the following day, when I made what is a traditional "day-after-Christmas" lunch for us, of slices of cold gammon with bubble & squeak topped with fried eggs, we both enjoyed that far more! I had bought only a small gammon joint to cook this year and of all years, it went far too quickly! Here's what it looked like when I took it out of the oven on Christmas Eve....you can tell how small it is. Usually my gammon would fill the tin!
We spent New Year's Eve with some friends and we had a lovely evening with them. They put out a lovely buffet spread of food and I was able to nibble away at it quite easily! For some time now, I have not been staying up very late and I wasn't sure if I would last until midnight. But I managed it easily and we didn't get home until 1.30am!
I told you last time that I had appointments to see a cardiologist on Christmas Eve and at Bordeaux on 30 December. So now I can tell you about them. Everything was fine at the cardiologist and it seems there's no problem at all with my heart. At Bordeaux, we went to the research department and I had various tests, including bloods, urine, blood pressure etc. Subject to these tests being okay (and I will get confirmation on Monday), I will start the trial on Tuesday. A drawback of the trial is that only two out of three participants in the trial actually get the drug itself; the other one gets a placebo. (Neither the patients nor the hospital staff knows who is getting what). I found this alarming and upsetting at first but now I've become used to the idea. For one thing, the doctor told us that I would be having a scan in mid-February then two months after that. If I am showing no signs of improvement, they will stop the treatment and consider something else.
I am so lucky in that so many people send me messages of support and positive thoughts. From them I have managed to get my head around the whole thing now. One of my nephews reminded me that it is pointless to worry about things I cannot control and that small comment really hit home this time. It is so true. I cannot control what I will be given, how it might affect me or what the outcome might be. On the other hand, I can control how I react towards my situation. I can make the decision to take and enjoy each day as it comes. From other messages I've been sent, I have also been reminded that none of us knows what is going to happen to us in the future. Just because I have cancer doesn't mean I know any more than the next person what lies in store for me. To put it into perspective, two presumably healthy people were shot and killed yesterday, on 1 January, as they enjoyed their Friday afternoon in a bar in Tel Aviv. And I'm sure there were many others around the world who had no idea they wouldn't see beyond the first day of a new year.
I'm not saying that this won't be easier said than done or that there won't be times when I don't feel quite so upbeat but for now, I'm putting on my Super Roz outfit (well, metaphorically!) and I'm ready to face 2016!!!
Together with Danny, I want to wish you all a very Happy New Year. I hope you all have happiness and peace. But most of all I wish you all Good Health.